EVERYONE MAKE A RULE,AND IT SHALL BE ADDED HERE. (Similar to Rules Of The Internet [Kind of explicit].)
1. The cupcake isn't edible. Don't bother.
2. If you receive a phone call late at night, answer it.
3. Once you've sat down for your night shift, you are not allowed to move.
4. Chica is a chicken, not a duck.
5. The only rule you need to follow is rule 6.
6. The only rule you need to follow is rule 5.
7. DO NOT FOLLOW RULE 7. DO NOT FUCKING FOLLOW RULE 7. I REPEAT DO NOT FUCKING FOLLOW RULE 7 YOU STUPID FUCK WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS I HAVE A FUCKING FAMILY WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
8. Whatever you do, do not touch the paper cutouts. It took us a week to scrape down the remains of the last guy who did this. We're seriously considering contacting the SCP Foundation.
9. Screw you there's no real order for rules. And that's gonna be rule 9.
10. Don't put the pineapple on the pizza.
11. The only true canon fnaf ship is Purple guy X Phone guy, also known as "Keeping it PG".
12. If you feel an Animatronic has violated your rights by jumping at your face, stuffing you into a spare Freddy Fazbear suit, or just straight-up killing you, please contact our Deceased Employee Hotline.
13. And you better not try to prank the Deceased Employee Hotline. Poor Foxy's been watching the Animatronic Behavior Instruction tapes way too many times because of pricks like you
14. In the event of a rogue Animatronic, you are still not authorized to harm it. Please try to commit the sacrifice ritual away from populated areas, as to not ruin the customers' experience. Yes, we care for our property more than we care for you.
15. [DATA EXPUNGED]
17. You uploaded that picture on to the wiki. You know what happens now.
23. Don't poop on the floor.
24. Don't poop on the floor.
25. Do not fucking poop on the floor what the fuck.
26. Purple Guy and Phone Guy are completely okay with "keep it PG".
34. Haha, F*** no. Just no. Not judging if your into that stuff but no.
39. The Emoji movie trailer is shit and you know it. Any positive comment about that damn movie will result in you being fired and stuffed into a goddamn suit one of these day i swear. -Thank you,Management.
40. Wait nevermind ignore that last bit. -Thank you,Management.
42. Do not try to solve the universe.
43. No. Do not dare.
44. Please stop putting up pictures of your OCs on the pizzeria's walls. If I have to take down one more picture of "Wolfy the Pirate Wolf", the culprit will be fired. That means you, Joe.
48. Do not refer to the purple fuck as "Vincent". Not anymore.
51. Do not refer to the phone fuck as "Phoner Boner Loner Stoner Moaner Toaster Gaster Blaster Plaster Matter Hatter Master 2017".
53. If either Purple Guy or Phone Guy say that they are not okay with "keep it PG", they are lying and must be fired immediately by whoever is in the vicinity. Yes, even you can fire them under these circumstances, Joe.
55. The Wikia Contributer must be delayed 95 times a year to prevent the apocalypse.
59. Do not yiff the fox. Just don't.
63. Mangle is a fucking yes. Not a man, not a woman. A yes. They don't even have genders anyway why are we still discussing this like seriously.
64. The next person found even saying the word gender will be forcefully and violently escorted off the premises
Commander Cody, the time has come.
67. In the event of a fire, do not try to spread the fire around in an attempt to shut the damn restaurant down.
69. Ha ha, very funny. While we're at it, though - KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF TOY CHICA, YOU DAMN PERVERT.
70. NEVER JUMP TO ANY CONCLUSIONS. that could be any William Afton on that FBI report.
77. No, management is not biased towards "keep it PG". That is all we have to say. - Thank you, Management
81. Any attempts to get the "Hot & Spicy Sauce'd Chicken Pizza" back on the menu is extremely forbidden. Refer to incident 6/9/1984.
83. We deny everything related to Fredbear.
87. If you head has been bitten by an animatronic, you can only blame yourself.
90. If you think these rules have gone from actual rules to utter garbage, you will be torn apart by Dave because these are the best rules ever 46/-1.
91. In the event of a "Malfunction Code #5", Call "███-███-████", not the police.
97. Don't tell the cop jackshit.
101. No fanfiction beyond this point. Write that shit on Deviantart, not in our Pizzeria.
But it's my burden to bear, Samewise Gamgee!
104. "Be nice, and have fun!"
105. Any more accusations from either Phone Guy or Purple Guy that management is biased towards "keep it PG" will result in immediate termination.
Oh god please save me i havent seen my family in 40 years working in this hell. Do not scrawl foreboding messages into the Main Rules.
107. Please stop calling the Animatronics "Pieces of shits".
108. Please stop calling the Animatronics "Pizza shits".
115. Do not question the training tapes. Not the springlock ones, the one with the song about making pizza.
124. If Rick Astley walks in the building, move the animatronics towards the back of the stage so Rick can come onstage and perform.
125. If you frown upon Rick performing, you will be stuffed in a springlock suit and then Dave will tickle the suit's springlocks.
126. If Freddy's music box begins playing Darude Sandstorm, you will be kicked out if you think it sounds bad.
128. Do not draw crude looking explicit pictures of the Animatronics and try to put them on the walls and pass them off as children's paintings.
129. Any mention of shipping other than "keep it PG" will result in immediate termination.
144. Whatever you do try not to think Chica is ugly everyone has feelings you know.
148. Managers, please don't fire employees by lighting their clothes with a match. A lighter is more environmentally friendly.
150. Do NOT try one of Joe's special complimentary cuppa joes.
151. FUCK YOU JOE STOP PUTTING YOUR FUCKED UP SHIT INTO THE DAMN COFFEE
152. Rule 129 now only applies to romantic shipping, on account of twenty-six employees fired due to discussing incoming shipments.
156. Do not put laxatives into the pizza and state that "The Pizza Killa" did it. We know that you did this you purple fuck.
157. Do not talk about the rival pizzerias!
158. If you say that Puppet looks like Vinnie, you will be stuffed inside a gift box until you die.
the management is a pizzasucking deucestain Joe is not allowed to edit the main rules.
160. Please do not reprogram the animatronics to play hip-hop, rock and roll, or rap.
161. Please do not flash the animatronics and customers during work hours, as this will disorientate them.
162. Please do not flash the animatronics and customers during work hours, as that's just disgusting.
169. Don't try to pass off our pizza as SCP-IZZA
170. Mark is NOT the King of Five Nights at Freddy's, we just tell him that to keep his self-esteem up. Also we are not giving back his crown.
177. Joe is no longer allowed to discuss shipping of any kind. We're onto you, Joe. Don't push us. - Thank you, Management
198. Murdering children is frowned upon. Try to not do it.
199. Murdering 5 children is seriously fucked up.
200. Don't Kick Balloon Boy over.
201. Don't tell the enragement child to, "Inhale My Dong." We have already fired several employees already.
204. If the animatronics don't stop writing "no keep it PG" on the walls, scrap them.
210.Don't fangirl over Foxy