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Intro

So, the Ninety Percent. A series where I react to bad FNaF fanworks, type out my reactions as I watch/read the fanworks, and slowly lose my sanity whilst doing so.

That's all well and good...but what about everyone else? Just because FNaF has one of the loudest and most irritating vocal minorities doesn't mean that other fandoms don't have them too. In fact, all fandoms have a vocal minority - it's just a matter of how loud and how large they are. And believe me, if you thought the stuff on the Ninety Percent was bad...well, let's just say it can get worse. Much. Much. Worse. As if I didn't lose enough faith in humanity already...

I've only covered a small part on this level of internet hell. Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to the Other Ninety Percent.

Intermission

Me: Hello, one and all, to the Other Ninety Percent! And, as you can tell by the fact that this is in script format...

E-Gold: I'M STILL HERE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Me: ...which means I have to comply with his deal. Read five chapters of The Lost Hero, try to not lose my sanity, and get my account back.

E-Gold: Heh heh heh heh heh...

Me: Let's get this over with...so, the Lost Her-...wait, actually, it's the Lost Element. Huh. Ignoring that, some of you may be wondering what, exactly, the Lost Element is! Well, to put it bluntly...it's a MLP fic starring a blatant self-insert Mary Sue. So, basically, it's like My Immortal from the last episode, only with better grammar, from one of my primary fandoms, and I HAVE TO READ FIVE CHAPTERS OF IT.

E-Gold: Don't forget that the author knows about TVTropes!

Me: ...Right...because the TVTropes page on it I used to track down the story seems to be written by the author. Moving on...statistics! So, the summary reads as follows: "Equestria has long been known as the land of ponies. However, the name of Equestria is misleading. For far too long, a certain element has been missing from the world. And now, that element has been brought back. But for better or for worse?" And then it mentions the author's patreon, hard copies of the story available for purchase...

E-Gold: Wait, he's actually getting a profit for this?

Me: Well, Fifty Shades of Gray was originally a Twilight fanfic...moving on, this is a MLP fic, it's rated M, and it has...let's see...sex, gore, romance, comedy, dark, human, slice of life, tragedy, Princess Celestia, Original Character, Discord, and Main 6 as it's tags. It has fifty six chapters - surprising, really - and...uh...uh...

E-Gold: What? What is it?

Me: ...1,598,724 words.

E-Gold: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-

Me: Evil Gold, I swear, I'm going to strangle you once I get through with this.

E-Gold: Don't care...keep going!

Me: Moving on...this started in 8/27/12 - or that's when the chapter was edited, at least - and was last updated... 5/25/17.

E-Gold: So, it's still going?

Me: Seems like it...

E-Gold: Looks like you're in for a treat!

Me: ...3...2...WHY...

The Fanfic

(Link )

Chapter 1 - A Newcomer to this Fanfic

Nice picture. Don't care.

Wow! So formal! And so unnatural!

So, instead of freaking out about the fact that you somehow ended up in the forest when you were in your house a second ago, you decide to walk down the path leading to a potential death trap?

I'm sorry, what? "With no other possible location in mind, I suspected that I had somehow ended up in a remote area of Europe and that these locations were historically preserved towns"? And you're still not freaking out over this?

SOMEBODY SHOOT HIM. PLEASE.

...Actually, don't. I'm fairly sure he's a robot now, because he's still not freaking out over this. I mean - if I were in his shoes, I wouldn't just freeze up, I'd be panicking.

Well, he's an idiot.

Actually, I'm fairly sure his presense would've been noticed earlier. And that the ponies would've gone into a mass panic.

SHOOT. HIM.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Excuse me, I'm just going to take a break from reading this to do something interesting and NOT BORING.

This is already grating on my nerves...

Sorry, how do the ponies know what humans are before Equestria Girls was a thing?

Okay, it's Twilight. Cool. Strangle him, please.

This dialogue is so stilted and unnatural...

BURN HIM AT THE STAKE.

A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A-

...I figured it out. This is the fanfic equivalent of Twilight. That's the only explanation.

And he's not dead. Greeeeeaaaaaaaat. I was hoping that the collision would kill him.

Did I mention that we don't know the protagonist's name yet? Or maybe I missed it because AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

AIM A MACHINE GUN AT HIM AND BLAST HIM TO SMITHEREENS.

I would slam my face into a wall repeatedly, but that wouldn't be good enough.

You know all the stuff I've wanted to happen to the protagonist? Yeah, changed my mind - have all of that happen to the author. Preferably all at once.

I think it's safe to say that this fanfic is in the tenth level of internet hell.

Just make it END already!

James, huh? Great! Come over here, James, I have a giant meat grinder I'd like to show you...

"Afraid". Yeah, like how you were afraid when you somehow ended up in the middle of nowhere when you were in your house a second ago.

So, if James is a robot, does he have a killswitch?

A debit card from Earth wouldn't work in Equestria anyway...except it actually does later on in the fic, apparently.

The fifth chapter is called "Sending Hearts Afluttershy". I think it's safe to say that James and Fluttershy become a thing, and this is Fluttershy.

...Okay, I'll give you one point for that. That does seem like a logical conclusion.

The worst part about this is that, to most, this would seem good, due to the nice grammar and long length. This isn't good. This is boring and contrived, and it needs to die in a fire.

TORTURE HIM WITH VARIOUS

ELECTRIC APPLIANCES UNTIL

HE'S NOTHING BUT A CHARRED,

SLICED UP MESS OF FLESH.

You know, I'm fairly sure this is as long as a usual the Other Ninety Percent episode at this point.

Cliche carnivore reaction is cliche.

I keep pinching myself in hope that this is just a dream. Nope.

Head, meet wall.

Notice how I'm barely talking about the fic itself? That's because reading it is very boring and painful and I'm trying to get through it as quick as possible.

What a coincidence!

TORTURE HIM WITH VARIOUS

ELECTRIC APPLIANCES UNTIL

HE'S NOTHING BUT A CHARRED,

SLICED UP MESS OF FLESH.

Yes, I know I already said that. I can't come up with anything else.

Playmare? Seriously?

Good to know you're telling Rarity that you're insane.

T O R T U R E H I M W I T H

V A R I O U S E L E C T R I C

A P P L I A N C E S U N T I L

H E ' S N O T H I N G B U T A

C H A R R E D, S L I C E D U P

M E S S O F F L E S H.

Slamming. Head. Into. Wall. Repeatedly.

Kill.

Honestly, I've had a worse day than he did just by reading this one chapter.

Special surprises? I can only guess...

Yeah, of course. Also, nice picture.

Also, weird format for inner thoughts. Haven't really talked about it.

Appropriate response.

The proper word is "meme."

James is a sexbot, isn't he?

IT'S OVER!

But, before I do the next chapter...hey, E-Gold!

E-Gold: Yeeeeeeessssss?

Me: Alright, back in script format...anyway, isn't this satisfying enough for you?

E-Gold: Of course not! You've locked me in a supply closet for two solid years! No, this is not enough! You will read the next four chapters, and I, EVIL GOLD, will laugh in victor-OW!

Me: Thanks for getting close enough for me to punch your head off! Sucks to be a skeleton, eh? Now, I'm just going to take back control of the script...

E-Gold: No, wait! Don't-

Conclusion

HALLELUJIAH! I'm back in control - and I am not reading the rest of that! Sure, E-Gold escaped my wrath, buuuuuut I'll be fine.

Anyway...

Up Next:

You decide! Please. Pick something better than this.

So, tell me what you think! Do you agree with me, or do you think it's worse than I made it out to be? Do you think it's better than I made it out to be? Do you have any reccomendations (videos, fanfic, ETC)? Let me know!

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