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Intro

So, fandoms. They're fine, really. You can make some friends, go to conventions, and discuss one of your favorite games/books/whatever with other people, just by associating with a certain group on the internet.

...But then there's the part of fandoms that no one likes to talk about: the vocal minority. These people are the worst part of any fandom - the overprotective fans, the egotistical fans, and fans that I'm sure we're all familiar with...the bad content creators. Sure, there's probably some good to be salvaged from what they create...somewhere, but the bad is so prominent, that your first reaction is to lose faith in humanity. And even if you manage to make some constructive criticism, a good amount of them won't listen.

Now, consider that the FNaF fandom has one of the worst vocal minorities, and...well, needless to say, there is a sea of bad FNaF content out there. So, because I feel like it, I'm going to dive right in...and I'm taking you with me.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the ninth level of internet hell - the Ninety Percent.

Intermission

Ship who you want with Foxy cause he's free, the ninety percent! Yarr harr, shippity dee, romance is honestly fine by me! Ship who you want with Foxy cause he's free, the ninety percent...oh, sorry. I didn't see you there!

Eeyup, I'm actually going to continue this series. Why? I dunno...may have finally snapped and gone insane.

Questionable mental stability aside, today I'll be reading the first three chapters of...

...drumroll,  please...

...Fnaf: Foxy in Love!

Literally the first thing that popped up when I googled "bad fnaf fanfiction"! Thanks for that, Google.

Alright, before I actually dive into this, let's go into the statistics...

First, the summary: "Freddy and the others are repaired and remodeled to perform again. Foxy was the last of them. They're all happy and then heard about a Vixen joining their group. Foxy is very nervous about this, he's never met a Vixen before. Vixey has always had a crush on Foxy since she was made. She heard so much about him, but evil forces will do anything to break them apart. What will happen?"

So, not seeing a lot of cause for hope, here. Firstly, let's talk about the word "Vixen". A vixen is a female fox. That's it. Now, how many kids in the nineties would know the word "vixen"? I'm going to guess...not a lot. So, if anything, Vixey (or whatever her name would be) should be marketed as a fox, not a vixen. Secondly, naming scheme. Look, I get that you want your OC to match the naming scheme of the canon animatronics (Freddy Fazbear, Bonnie the bunny, Chica the chicken, Foxy the pirate fox), but "Vixey"? Really? Do you really want to make the fantasy fufillment more obvious?

Because, really, just going off the summary, this seems like a self-insert fic. That kind of self-insert fic, to be precise. You know the ones. "Oh, hey, here's my own original character that just so happens to be in love with another character and their love is essential to the plot because...reasons! Don't question me!!!" Yeah.

Now let's get to the other stuff. Rated T, in English...standard stuff here. Romance/Hurt/Comfort. Mmk. Hurt/Comfort isn't really my thing, but that doesn't set off any alarms...Chica, Bonnie, Foxy, OC. Kinda obvious. Twenty eight chapters, and...53,125 words? Okay, that's actually a good sign in my books; generally, my standard of quality whenever I'm searching for a fanfic is that the chapter to word ratio is 1 - 1000+. This meets the requirement. Published Oct 20., 2014, last updated Jun 3., 2015. Complete.

Okay, so it started before FNaF2 and ended sometime after FNaF3...possibly around the time that FNaF4 came out. Got it.

But enough stalling. It's time to dive right in...

The Fanfic

(Link )

Chapter 1 - Return of The Ninety Percent

So, author's note at the beginning of the chapter. That's fine. I would perfer it be at the end, but if it's not in the middle of a story, that's fine. Ignoring that...

11:55 PM, I assume? There's no clarification. Then again, it's pretty obvious, so that's just a nitpick...

Vixey's a pirate, too, eh? Okay then. Aside from some minor grammar issues, so far there's no glaring problems.

...Aaaaand I take that back, because Mr. Fazbear? Really? That's what you went with? Also, why are the employees shocked? Did he not...I don't know...tell them about this?

Exposition, exposition...also timeline problems, but since this was published before FNaF2, 3, 4, or SL I'm not going to fault it for that...

Thanks for repeating what we already know, Mr. Fazbear! You're just a delight!

Uh...why are the engineers not concerned about the fact that the animatronics are walking around? And watching them?

Okay, hold up. "glowing gold sphere"? I'm no engineer, that does not sound like it has a place inside an animatronic. Anyone want to bet that the sphere is a Chekov's Gun?

Ho boy, we got a love triangle on our hands, ladies and gentlemen! And without any build up whatsoever!

Hmmm...actually, the dialogue isn't that bad. I mean, with some proper grammar, this could be nice.

1:15? Seriously? Sounded like it took a few minutes. Also, again, why are the engineers completely unconcerned about the walking. talking robot animals? At the very least, they should be reporting this to the FBI or the Pentagon...wait, did the Pentagon exist in the nineties?

Uh...that's it? Okay then...seemed to be a bit short...

Chapter 2 - Vixey the Original Character

Do we really need an author's note telling us that this is the second chapter?

I love how the author lampshades that vixen is not a common word...and keeps using it anyway...

Thank you for that helpful description, captain obvious.

Aaaaaaand I hate Vixey already. Oh, it also switched to first person, which kinda confirms my suspicions that this is a self-insert fic, but who cares about that?

So...who told Vixey about how great Foxy is? Did she just...overhear from some manufacturers, or workers, or...

Uh huh. Just be yourself, you say? Well, Vixey, so far, you seem to be an overactive fangirl. I do not see the appeal with being yourself.

But why do they put her on a bed, though? Or anything soft, for that matter?

Why, I didn't know that females have breasts! Thank you, captain obvious!

Yes, we know that your eyes are blue. We saw that earlier from the third person perspective.

Wait, why did it switch from first person to third person with no transition whatsoever? There was a transition from third to first, so there's no reason to justify not having one here.

Animatronics don't blush.

Uh huh. Suuuuure. "Not used to having this much energy". Because that totally explains away clumsiness. Also, why did Foxy help her up when she was already standing? Was he on the ship? It didn't say he was on the ship. I WANT ANSWERS!

Okay, the dialogue is slightly less bearable than it was before. It's like just adding Vixey to the equation somehow poisioned the fic...

Why did she include Mike's last name when she greeted him?

Yeah, Chica, what do you mean by hopefully? Please don't be suicide because edge, please don't be suicide because edge, please don't be suicide because edge...

Also, why is Chica cooking, anyway? Animatronics can't eat.

End of chapter two! Last round; here we go...

Chapter 3 - A Good Laugh

Not commenting on the author's note...

Okay, I haven't really bothered to comment on the grammatical errors much, but pooping instead of popping? I get that O and P are right next to each other on a QWERTY keyboard, but come on!

Aaaaaand the dialogue has sufficently degraded to what I expected. Thanks, Mike.

Okay, explanation for Golden Freddy is...

...no explanation whatsoever. Okay, can we get Mr. Fazbear back so he can give some exposition? I honestly don't care where the information comes from at this point.

On a positive note, may I just point out that the author didn't go for the "Foxy is an outcast" route I've seen so many times in fan works where the animatronics have sentience?

Oh. Chica bakes cake for the children...and I just made an accidental reference/pun there, didn't I?

Spoiler alert: Chica is not getting with Foxy. Just sayin'.

Also, on another positive note, Ron the Death Eater is not in effect here with Chica just so Vixey can be with Foxy! Nice!

Okay, we get clarification this time.

Remember how I said I wanted Mr. Fazbear back for some exposition on Golden Freddy? I take it back. Shove him back into whatever closet he came out of.

Why is he allowing them to walk around in the day again!?!

Animatronics don't cry oil.

Why do they need scripts, anyway? Shouldn't it be already programmed into their braaaaaaAAAAAGH THE AUTHOR IS INFECTING ME WITH NONSENSE!

Okay. Third chapter, done.

Well then.

Conclusion

Okay, not as terrible as I thought it would be, but not necessarily good, either. Just sorta "meh". Well, not every fanfic in the ninety percent can be complete garbage...

Up next:

"A Night without a Guard"

So, tell me what you think! Do you agree with me, or do you think it's worse than I made it out to be? Do you think it's better than I made it out to be? Do you have any reccomendations (videos, fanfic, ETC)? Let me know!

Now, if you'll excuse me...

Ship who you want with Foxy cause he's free, the ninety percent...

First <---> Next

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